This must be true love
by WeakEndGirl
Summary: "I hate you so much I think this must be true love." Harry and Draco meet again at the Wedding of Harrys best friend. This brings up a lot of memories and their story may continue from then on...
1. Memories

True Love

_(Sometimes I hate every single stupid word you say, Sometimes I wanna slap you in your whole face. _

_There's no one quite like you, you push all my buttons down, I know life would suck without you.)_

Harry didn't even want to go to that Wedding. Yeah, best friends and whatsoever. He just wasn't in the mood for this. Weddings only reminded him of his own failing to keep somebody besides him for more than one year. It simply never worked out. Problems always appeared. It was not like he was looking for them. He didn't make them up. Some couldn't handle his past, some couldn't handle the fact that he still had these weird dreams of what had happen and some had just been total assholes. He looked into the mirror.

"It's a shame nobody wants to marry me. I look good in a suit.", he said to himself and sighed. Harry was a very sad man. Ron was a very happy man as he entered Harry's bedroom.

"You ready?"

"Yep."

Harry went over to him and gave him a hug. They just stood there like this for a couple of seconds, looked at each other and smiled.

"This is _your _day, buddy. This is gonna be great.", Harry said.

"Yeah...Can you believe this is finally happening?"

Ron beamed at his friend and Harry smiled back. Harry had believed this day would come after Ron had told him that he and Hermione had finally managed to get together. And he was happy for them, he really was. He was just so lonely. No one he had met before has ever really got him. It was not like he felt sorry for himself. It was probably his own fault. And he knew it. But still. Sometimes he wished for someone to be with him. They walked out of the room and down the hallway.

"She'll probably look stunning in that dress."

"I bet."

They walked down the long hallway in silence. Harry thought about how he would feel if he would have been Ron right now. Marrying the one person he loved most. And that one that loved him most. Trusted him most. Would do anything for him. Harry sighed a little when they reached the huge door. Ron gave Harry a nervous look.

"Alright, buddy. Calm down. She will be here soon. Everything will be fine."

He opened the door just to find a lot of his friends and his second family, the Weasleys. The door closed behind them. Everyone was just beaming at them as they walked down to the desk at the end of the corridor. Harry stood close to Ron to make sure he was not going to faint. They got the time to exchange one last look when the music started playing. Ron turned around, his hands were shaking. The door opened slowly again and there she was. Everything around them just seemed to disappear as his eyes met hers.

Harry's jar almost fell to the ground. Wow, that girl looked stunning. Her brown hair was tied at the back of her head, a lot of white flowers on top, making her perfect skin look even more light than it already was. Her deep brown eyes were glowing as a stunning smile appeared on her face. Time seemed to go really slow as she seemed to float down the corridor. A simple, cute white dress covered her slim body.

And then he saw him.

That guy who brought Hermione up to them. This was not her head. And this wasn't a brother since Hermione was an only child. The cold, blue eyes met Harry's and then he knew. The bright blond hair brought up all the memories from school. He swallowed slowly.

Draco Malfoy handed Hermione to Ron and smiled just a split second. Harrys heart was racing. But he was hoping that it didn't show.

Draco stood beside Hermione.

Harry was not going to survive this. Could this be real? He was here. After all this time. All these years. All the things that had happened between them.

"Hey...", whispered Draco really quietly.

Harry couldn't say anything. These lips. These stupid, soft lips that formed all the words that Draco had ever said to him and just looking at them brought back all these memories.

After all the fighting, all the things between them and that...that kiss in the school library years ago. He had never forgotten that day. The expression on Dracos face.

Harrys face felt like it was burning and he was sure everyone in the room realized that something was not quite right. He closed his eyes. And there he was. In the school library.

"What do you even think? You know I am better than you."

"You know what, Malfoy, I am so sick of fighting with you everyday. I'm sick of you telling me I am not worth it and that you're so much better just because your dad is a well-known man.", Harry hissed.

Draco pressed his back against the wall, his eyes full of anger and hatred. His blond hair was disheveled, dark shadows underligned the bright blue of his eyes.

"At least I still have a dad.", he slowly said.

That was too much.

Harry gnashed his teeth and tried to release himself from Dracos tight grip at his shoulders. But he couldn't. He was sad and that took his power. He felt the burning in his eyes. Draco must have seen what was going on. Harry couldn't hold back.

Dracos eyes widened as tears slowly ran down Harrys face.

He leaned forward and kissed him. It was a soft, lovely kiss. Harry held on to Dracos coat tightly. Dracos hands still held him up against the wall to make sure he wasn't going to fall down. Draco moved away, looked at him and then kissed him again. He slowly pushed his body against Harrys and let out a little moan. His tongue quickly slipped into Harrys mouth, there was nothing Harry could do. They were kissing passionatetly. Harry didn't know how much time had passed when Draco suddenly stopped as if he had heard something. He quickly looked over his shoulder, but he didn't see anything. Then he looked back at Harry.

"I wanted to do this for such a long time.", he simply said and let go of Harry. He simply slid down the wall and fell to the ground. He breathed heavily. Draco turned around, walked down the hallway and did never speak to Harry again.

Until today. The wedding of his best friend. This was not going to end well, was it? From that one he couldn't focus on anything but the tall, blond guy. He looked amazing in a suit. Just amazing. He probably could have worn a potato sack and still look really awesome. At least the wedding didn't last too long. When the newlyweds walked out of the door together, Harry and Draco were behind them, walking side to side. Harry put his hands in his pockets, because he felt like if he didn't, he would probably run them along Dracos body immediatelty. And that was maybe not what Hermione and Ron wanted for their wedding. He glanced at Draco. Their eyes met.

"You okay?"

"Yep. You?"

"...No.", Harry whispered, but he was sure Draco didn't hear it.

They walked out of the building, people had lined up in front of it and threw flowers at Ron and Hermione. Everyone was smiling and beaming except for Harry and Draco. Harry forced himself to smile on every picture taken, but he wasn't really feeling it.

When Hermione asked Ron to take a picture of her with Draco and Harry, their Hands met behind her back for just a split second. Harry shrugged. A cold shiver ran down his back but at the same moment, his faced flushed dark red. He must have looked terrible.

"Are you coming with us?", Hermione smiled.

Harry looked at her. Puzzled.

"The limousine.", said Ron. "We want you two to come with us."

"Where do we go?", Harry asked, still puzzled.

"You will see.", Hermione said and grabbed Harrys and Dracos Hand, dragged them to the car. They got in quickly, shut the door. Ron turned the music up and grabbed a bottle of champagne.

"Now, we celebrate.", he grinned.

"And when will you tell me where we're going?", Harry asked and tried to look out of the dark windows to get an idea where the we're heading.

"Airport.", said Hermione. "And don't even try to escape, the doors are locked."

"Airport? Are we leaving the country or something? I didn't even bring anything and I can't just go, it's-", Harry said very fast in a nervous and shivering voice.

"Don't worry, buddy. I got your stuff for you. Everything is fine. This will be fun. We haven't been on holiday together in years."

"Yes, but...", he looked at Draco. "...did you know?"

"No."

"Then why are YOU so calm?"

"Should I disagree with the bride's wishes? I don't think so."

Harrys heart was racing to the maximum. He would probably have a heart attack in the next couple of minutes. He was going on holiday. With his two best friends and that man...that man he had have the weirdest and nicest dreams about. He couldn't handle it.

He grabbed the bottle of champagne and took a huge gulp.


	2. Holiday

Chapter 2

(There's no one quite like you, you push all my buttons down,  
I know life would suck without you.)

When Harry woke up the next day, his head was aching really bad. He couldn't really remember anything from the night before. He looked around.

He was obviously laying in bed. A really comfortable, nice hotel bed. The room was really nice too. It was dark because the blinds were still shut. He moaned and rubbed his eyes.

„God damn..."

He turned to the left and closed his eyes again. He should probably sleep a litte more, right? Sleep was the cure to mostly everything. His ears were burning.

„Harry?", someone asked while knocking on his door.

Oh that sound seemed so loud even though he knew it wasn't. He slowly sat up straight.

„Yes...", he quietly said, coughed, and tried again a little louder this time.

The door slowly opened and Hermione stuck her head into the room. She smiled at him.

„Are you okay? Can I come in?"

„Yeah, sure."

Harry sat up against the bed-head when he realized he wasn't wearing a shirt. Hermione sat down at the foot of the bed. He put his hands under the blanket. He wasn't wearing pants either.

„What happened?"

„Well, you actually started drinking in the limousine, continued in the airplane, then we went on to the hotel bar and you just...lost it I guess."

He rolled his eyes. Oh no. He was not really good at drinking. Why hadn't anybody stopped him? Well... they had probably been drunk, too, right?

„I brought you to bed."

„Oh geez, thanks, sweetie. I was too scared to ask."

Hermione laughed.

„You know I don't let you down, right?"

She handed him a glass of water. Harry reached for it thankfully. He saw the white pellet that bubbled inside the water. Hermione was a true friend. She took such care of Harry all the time. He was really glad she was his friend. Harry drank it fast, he couldn't stand the taste though.

„...sooooo", he started, „what are we up to today?"

„Well", Hermione said and stood up. „We are going to the beach. Feel free to join us. Ron brought some swim shorts for you, I am sure."

She smiled at him again before she left the room quietly. Harry had blushed. She totally knew he was naked underneath the blanket. SHE had brought him to bed. He felt a little embarressed. She was his best friend, for sure, and there was no sexual tension between them or anything like that...but Harry was not really happy about his own body. He was a rather tall and skinny guy. In a world of steroids and gyms everywhere, he felt kinda ugly sometimes.

He slowly got up. Ohhh... the room was spinning a little around him. He lurched over to the bathroom door, slowly opened and fell down in the shower immediately.

He turned on the water and just kept sitting there for a couple of minutes.

Hermione and Ron were already at the beach. The bright, soft sand felt really calming between Harrys toes. The smell of salt and sunscreen clasped around Harrys nose. He squinted behind his dark shades, the sun was shining really bright. Children were playing with a ball in the water, laughing loudly. Harry layed down his towel next to Hermiones. She handed him sunscreen that he put on quickly. He always got burned by the sun. Most times he liked being pale but it was a pain in the arse when it came to tanning.

„I havn't been to the beach in ages.", said Ron. „I mean, vacation for so many people like us", he pointed at his ginger hair, „is really expensive, you know."

Harry laughed.

„Not only expensive, man. Your brothers can be really annyoing from time to time, you know."

„No, really, Mr. Obvious?"

Hermione hat sat up straight and reached for the sunscreen as she spotted a fimilar face a couple of meters away.

„Appearance Prince Charming.", she quietly said. Harry had heard her words. He looked to his right and there he was. A towel hang over Malfoys shoulder, his swimshorts were kneelong and black, of course, his white skin shined pale in the sunlight. Dark shades hid his stunning blue eyes, it was a shame. Harry swallowed hard.

„Oh God", he sighed.

Malfoy came closer to them, moving confident through the sand, his muscular body attracted a lot of attention, not only Harrys. Two girls close to them giggled when Malfoy looked into their direction. Harry wondered why he felt like he was in some kind of Baywatch scene and if Malfoy would come an rescue h-

„Hey."

Draco Malfoy put down his towel next to Harry.

He crossed his arms behind his head and just enjoyed the sunlight. Harry couldn't take his eyes from this amazingly good-looking man. He watched Malfoy. His perfect, pale chest moved slowly up and down from his breathing and few, very little pearls of sweat appeared here and there on his skin, drawing Harrys attention to this and that other perfect part of Draco's body. He nearly didn't have any body hair and the few that was there was so bright blonde you could hardly see it.

„What exactly do you think you're doing?", he heard Malfoy say and it brought him back to reality. He looked down to see his own hand softly touching Malfoys chest.

„Uhm. There was...sand?", Harry said in an apoligizing voice.

„Whatever. Take your hands off me."

Harry blushed deep red. Oh no, this was not the way he wanted it to be. He looked down to his legs and could see the small bump that was growing underneath his swimshorts. He quickly stood up.

„I'm gonna go into the water.", he mumbled at Hermione, who nodded and put on more sunscreen. Harry walked through the sand and to one of the gangplanks neardby. He took a deep breath, streteched his arms over his head and jumped into the water, headfirst.

The warm water felt nice against his hot skin, he felt safe and protected. Harry loved the water. When he got up again, he could see Malfoy coming into the water as well. He didn't jump, he just simply walked into it, put his head under water, got up again and swam into Harrys direction.

It was that exact same moment that Harry realized he had lost his swimshorts within jumping.

„Oh crap!"


	3. Incidents

Chapter 3

(At the same time I wanna hug you, I wanna wrap my hands around your neck. You're an asshole but I love you, and you make me so mad)

Harry looked around in total panic. Where were his shorts? It seemed like the water had just engulfed them. There where nowhere to be seen. His eyes still nervously searching the water, he turned around. Malfoy was coming closer and closer. Harry looked down. At least the water was cloudy enough to hide his body. Malfoy had meanwhile disappeared. Where did he go?

„I have to find a way to let Hermione know that she needs to find me some new pants", Harry mumbled to himself and was about to swim back to the beach when Malfoy got up in front of him. Harry had a little heart attack.

„Goddammit!", he hissed, looking at the grinning Malfoy.

His blond, wet hair stuck to his beautiful, pale skin to both sides of his face. The water was reflecting in the deep blue of his sincere eyes. The nearly perfect way his shoulders and collarbones moved back and forth while he tried to keep himself over water with his hands moving underneath the surface of the water made Harry forget how to speak.

„You are going down, Potter.", was the last thing he heard Malfoy say, before the sounds of the world turned into dull, rather calm noises. Air bubbled out of his mouth, reaching the surface in form of unshaped bubbles. His eyes could not see properly. Everything was cloudy and blurred. He felt the heavy weight of Malfoys hands on his shoulders. Pulling him back up.

Harry panted for air and coughed heavily. Little spits of water flowed uncontrolled out of his mouth. He had been dipped. His eyes looked around confused.

"Wow, you look really shite right now.", Malfoy said with a slight smile on his lips. Uh, these lips again. Harry looked at them a little bit too long. Hopefully Malfoy would mistake his red face for sunburn. Hmm they looked so soft. It had been so long since that other kiss in the hallway. Yes, Malfoy had not spoken to him for a long time. But that didn't include physical interaction, right? He had been surprised to meet him again. Late night. In the hallway.

There he was. Walking down the hallway. Looking outside the arches up to the moon. He couldn't sleep. Just the usual nightmares. The usual thoughts. The usual being useless. He sighed. He liked being alone. It was the one thing he was really good at it. Then he heard the footsteps. He turned his head. Out of the dark, a tall, blonde, beautiful creature approached him. Harrys heart skipped a beat. He looked around but Malfoy was alone. Harry dodged backwards until his back touched the cold stone the castle was made of. Oh no, not again he thought as Malfoy came closer and closer. Not again. And in the same moment, he wanted this so bad. So, so bad. Hmm and these soft lips against his own. The blonde hair that fell onto his forehead and tickled so nicely. The warm hands that held his face so carefully but still determinant. Their hot breathe against each others face, Malfoys tongue inside Harrys mouth, Malfoys hands underneath his shirt. His heartbeat was going fast, his hands clung to Dracos sweater. And then...Malfoy backed up, biting his lip. His eyes closed, puckered brows. Turning around, walking away. That was all Harry was going to get, today, on his birthday. It was his present. All he asked for. He smiled.

"What are you smiling at, Potter? It makes you look dumb, you know."

Harry opened his eyes. He was still in the water, same spot he had been before. He was still not wearing pants and this beautiful gentleman in front of him still took his ability to speak away. Damn.

"It does not.", he whispered, that was the only thing he could think of to say. He wanted to drown. He wanted Draco to go away. He wanted pants. Especially pants.

Then he saw Hermione swimming towards them.

"Thank God.", Harry sighed.

Draco looked at him with his eyebrows lifted.

"Wow, you must really hate me."

Hermione came up to them and gave Harry her famous knowing look. She had noticed that something was not quite right and came to the rescue. She had always been Harrys life saver and would always be.

"You don't look so good, Harry. Maybe you should leave the water for now.", she said to him and he tried to tell her through his eyes that this was not quite possible. Draco was still looking at them puzzled, seeing them exchanging looks.

"Oh my god...", he whispered. "Wow, this is insane!"

His jar had dropped a little.

"What do you two think you're doing?", he hissed.

"Huh?", Harry said, nervously trying to keep the distance to Draco. Hermione didn't even pay attention to Malfoy. She was still trying to figure out what exactly was wrong with her best friend.

"This is just crazy! You had this carry-on going all this time! ALL this time – I should've known!"

Hermione splashed a huge amount of water into Dracos face.

"Are you out of your mind? Stop talking nonsense. Did the sun already burn your silly head so bad?"

"What – NO! But the way you two look at each other is just really suspicious!"

"Oh, come on, Draco, swallow your jealousy.", Hermione hissed and took Harrys arm to navigate him away from the blonde guy.

"I lost my pants.", Harry whispered.

Hermione tried to keep a straight face as the swam away from Malfoy.

"Ok, you stay here, I'll get you a towel."

"Quick, please!", Harry said in a suffering tone, gnashing his teeth, looking back at Malfoy to make sure he was not following them. Hermione hurried, took the towel, shook it out (Ron moaned as the sand fell on his back) and ran back into the water. The towel soaked as she put it under water and handed it to Harry. The young man quickly tied it around his waist and followed his friend out of the water again. Malfoy had already lied down in the sand next to Ron again.

"Ron, we need to get back to the hotel. Despite the fact that I burned my skin really bad, Harry has a small problem we should maybe take care of."

"Ewww! So that is why the three of you were always together... this is just so gross."

"Huh?"

"I guess he is assuming that we're gonna have a three-some now.", Ron said a little too loud, in a rather offensive way, making the other people at the beach turning their heads. Hermione quickly

picked up the towels and bags, forced Ron to stand up, took Harrys arm and stormed off. Ron tried to keep up, fumbled his car keys out of his pocket, unlocked the car and everybody got in. Well, everyone except for Malfoy, who was still sure that something unusual was going on.

"What exactly is the problem?", said Ron when he sat down on the driver's seat.

"Harry lost his pants in the water."

"WHAT! What did you and Malfoy do in there, huh?"

Harry sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Nothing. I lost them when I jumped head first.", Harry explained and took off the wet towel. He reached over to the bag standing next to him and nuzzled for dry shorts.

Meanwhile, Malfoy got up, rolled up his towel and walked towards the direction, where Rons car was standing. Maybe his mind has just been playing tricks on him. Maybe he needed to apologize to the other guys. He sighed. He wasn't really good at this. He was a Malfoy. He never apologized. But throughout the years, someone had taught him how. At least, tried to teach him.

He clearly remembered the day he came home from a field trip, threw his stuff anywhere into his room, opened the blinds and watched the rain fall down. The phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hello, is this Draco Malfoy."

"Yes."

"This is Hermione Granger speaking."

"What do you want?", he roughly said and bit his tongue a little to avoid swear words. His thoughts were running around in his head. This was the key. This was it. She was the connection. He had to be nice.

"Well. There is something I need to talk to you about."

And then they talked about Harry. How she thought that the only person Harry had ever loved was Draco (even though she didn't know why) and how he missed him. And Draco opened up. Told her about all the secret kisses in the hallways, on Harrys birthday every year, on Christmas, any other holiday Draco could think of. Because he thought that was his gift to him. The only thing he could give him. And Harry never said no. He always showed up.

"We should meet. Bury the hatchet. Harry needs you."

"Okay."

After that, they met on a regular basis. They talked about school, all the things that had happened. They talked about Harry. Where he was at with his life, what he was doing, how he was feeling, who he had become throughout the years. Draco still wanted him. He was sure, Harry was still the same soul. One day, the phone rang in the middle of the night. Draco reached over, super tired.

"This better be important..."

It was Hermione.

"It's time. I'm getting married. You're meeting Harry in three months. Get ready."

And she hung up again. Draco did not sleep that night.

He sighed when he came closer to the car. He really needed to apologize, this was the only way. He went to the back window on the left side and knocked. Heads turned. He looked into Harrys eyes. They widened. He looked down. Harry was not wearing pants.


	4. Airport

Chapter 4

_(__you make me so mad I ask myself Why I'm still here, or where could I go? You're the only love I've ever known, but I hate you, I really hate you, so much I think it must be...)_

There was no way he was going to leave this room. No. He was going to stay in here forever. Blinds closed, the darkness his only friend. Ashamed. And exposed. That was all he needed. He would survive the growl that his stomach let out once in a while. He could drink the water from the sink, right? He would survive. Everything was better than looking into these beautiful, blue eyes again. No, that was something he couldn't do.

"Harry?"

He heard the familiar voice of his best girlfriend vibrating through the wooden door.

"NO! I AM STAYING HERE!"

He curled up in his blanket and squinted. He would just pretend that this had never happened. He could stay here. It was a nice place. Nice beach. Nice staff. He didn't have money though to pay for the hotel. Damn. Whatever. He could get a job, right?

"Harry, we're gonna miss the plane! I'm coming in!", Hermione said in a determined voice, threw the door open and turned on the lights. Bright colors flowed through Harrys eyelids. He grunted angrily as he heard Hermione opening the blinds. She turned around and looked him straight into the eyes. Oh no, she gave him _that _look. That special Hermione look. It made Harry feel bad.

"Get up!"

She started picking up Harrys clothes from the ground and put them into his suitcase. Harry felt the leight weight of a T-shirt falling onto his back.

"Get dressed! Come on!"

She pushed him over so that he was lying on his back. He opened his eyes. At least he was wearing pants now. He sighed. He couldn't stay even though that was the one thing he wanted most right now. Still pretending to be angry at her, he sat up straight.

"Alright, fine!"

He jumped out of the bed, picked up the t-shirt and put it on, still grunting angrily with every move. Hermione watched him getting his stuff from the bathroom and reminded him to hurry. As the door slammed behind Harry, his stomach started turning upside down. He felt sick. He didn't want to see him.

At least I'm wearing pants, he thought and cracked a sad smile.

"Why did you even invite him?", he asked.

Hermione did not look him in the eye. She remained silent for a while. Harry could see she was thinking about what to stay. But her answer didn't really satisfy him.

"I can't really tell you."

"Ohhh, so you're having secrets, wow. That's what I call a friend.", Harry said and did regret it the same moment he said it. Hermione didn't say anything back. She just sighed but she didn't say anything until they met Ron.

"Here we are."

"Okay, I brought the hired car back. Taxi to the airport should be here in a couple of minutes.", Ron said, put his suitcase down and stood next to Harry. He looked at him with worried eyes.

"Are you okay? You look kinda sick."

"Well, thank you, you too.", Harry said angrily and sat down on his suitcase. He watched his shoelaces fluttering in the warm breeze that let his hair tickle his forehead. He was not going to look up again. Not now. His nose had picked up this wonderful smell. Malfoy must have been standing right behind him. Harry felt so sick.

The taxi arrived, the driver threw their suitcases into the trunk and they got in quickly. Hermione sat in the middle of Harry and Draco on the back seat. Nobody said a single word until the arrived at the airport. Ron thanked the driver and payed and they entered the huge airport hall.

"Will be right back.", Harry mumbled and went off into the direction of the restrooms. He had to be alone for a couple of minutes. He had always faced his biggest fears, but this was so different from anything he had ever known, ever felt. Something was going on and not even Hermione told him. Not even his friend. His best friend. He felt so lonely.

Ron gave a Hermione a questioning look but did not ask. She just shook her head and shrugged her shoulders.

"Okay, that's it. I need to do something.", the blond guy said.

Malfoy put his suitcase down, knitted his brows and followed Harry.

As he entered the bathroom, everything was silent. Harry was in here, he knew it. But he didn't make a sound. Malfoy got down on his knees, firmed himself up with his hands and looked underneath the stall doors. He couldn't see Harrys feet. He must've been sitting cross-legged.

"I know you're in here.", he simply said.

The room remained silent for a while. Then, Draco heard a rustling. He got up. He heard how two shoes touched the wet ground.

"What do you want?", replied one of the stalls.

Draco approached the door and leaned against it. He didn't say anything for a while because he wasn't really able to find the right words. The lock clicked, Harry opened the door and Draco fell into his arms. He flailed his arms and quickly stood up straight again. Harry looked down, his face was burning red.

"I said, what do you want.", he hissed.

Draco didn't move for a second. Then Harry heard the lock click again. But he still saw Draco's shoes. Oh no. He was in here. With him. Alone. No Hermione to rescue him. Nobody t help him. He was going to be teased, right? Tortured. He felt the weight of Dracos hands against his shoulders, pushing him against the stall's wall. He looked up into these eyes, these beautiful, seductive blue eyes. Oh no. And it was not even his birthday, was it?

"You have no idea what I want, Potter."

Harry swallowed hard. What was coming now? What was happening next? He could feel that his legs would not carry him for any longer soon.

"But at least I know what _you _want."

"So, what is that?", Harry whispered, his heart pounding against his chest, hearing the blood pumping through his ears, burning his deeply red face, his lips shaking, his sweaty palms clinging onto his own pants. He could see the smile on Draco's face through his own hair in front of his eyes. He could hear the slight laughter. He felt the tight grip on his shoulders, still pressing him against the wall, making him unable to move. His stomach turned upside down again. He was feeling sick and hot. His shirt stuck to the sweat on his back.

"Me.", Malfoy said.

Harry felt the sweat on his own face. He felt the soft lips on his own. He felt sick. He dragged himself from Malfoy, fell down on his knees. He breathed heavily.

He faced the toilet.

And puked.

That was the last thing he remembered.


	5. Confession

(True love, it must be true love and nothing ever breaks my heart like true love)

When Harry opened his eyes again, he was in an uncomfortable bed, bright lights shining through the blinds, an unknown beeping next to his head. He looked around. He was not alone. There was someone sitting in something that looked like a chair. All Harry could see were blurred lines. Where were his glasses? He let out a little moan. The person got up and came closer. It was Hermione.

"Harry, thank god you're awake. How are you?"

He really wanted to answer but his throat was dry and he felt weak. He cracked a slight smile. Hermione reached out to stroke his cheeks.

"Seems like you're heavily allergic to the mussels we ate the other day. I am so sorry Harry."

He shook his head a little to make her understand that he didn't think it was her fault at all. He hadn't known himself. He reached out with his shaking hand and touched her arm.

"Oh Harry...so glad you're finally awake. You slept for hours. It was terrible. They had to pump out your stomach and your throat was swollen so badly, you could hardly breathe and they could not put in a lens tube...I thought you were going to choke on all this...but there you are. Thank God!"

She leaned down and kissed his head. His forehead still felt slightly hot like he was in a fever. Harry asked himself if he was having a weird dream or if this was really happening. The last thing he remembered was being in the stall with Malfoy...

Harry fell down on his knees and faced the toilet. And then he puked. He moaned and his head fell down, hitting the edge of the toilet seat. He got knocked out immediately. Malfoy looked at him for a second until he realized that Harry had passed out.

"Oh man..."

He reached down and tried to pick Harry up slowly. There were little drops of blood on his forehead. Draco put Harry's right arm around his own shoulders and carried him out of the restrooms. When they got close enough for Ron to see, he immediately ran over to them, followed by a bunch of security guys, asking what happened and if everything was okay.

"Does he look like he's ok? Of course he is not!"

They called the ambulance and got Harry to the hospital as fast as possible. And...Hermione had him told the rest obviously.

Harry reached up to his forehead and touched the little, new scar that was located very close to his famous one. He sighed. That was that. He had failed in every way. Draco probably thought he was disgusting. And weak. And weird. Well, he already thought that anyway, right. And what had that action in the bathroom stall been about? And that sentence. Like he knew Harry wanted him. Of course he knew. He should know by now, right? But what had all the other incidents back in school been then? Just a tease? Just torture? Just a game? A fucking game. Draco liked playing games, right? He had always messed around, especially with girls. He had never been the faithful boyfriend they had all wished for. Harry knew that. Because most time, Draco had cheated on them with him. He sighed.

"Is everything alright?", Hermione asked and Harry slightly nodded, his eyes closed.

Why did he hold on to a man he could never own? That he could never be with? A man that could not be tamed.

Ron entered the room and immediately jumped onto Harrys bed.

"OH THANK GOD!", he shouted out and hugged his friend. Oh, that hurt a little in Harrys stomach. And he was so loud. He needed silence and peace. Just for once.

"Let him go! You're killing him!"

Ron backed up after Hermione had told him off. He sat down in the chair quietly and kept silent from then on. Harry kept his eyes closed, feeling the warm weight of Hermiones hand on his own. It felt good that she was here.

"Hermione...", he whispered, "will you tell me now?"

"Anything. What do you want o know?"

"Malfoy...why was...he even there?"

She bit her lip for a couple of seconds and kept quiet. Harry slowly opened one eye.

"You said...anything.", he whispered.

"I know. It's just I don't know if he would maybe like to-"

"Yes. I would like to tell it myself.", a cold, familiar voice said. Harrys eyes flew open and he starred at the ceiling. Malfoy was here. In the room. Looking at him being in this rather miserable condition. Harry blushed in embarrassment. Draco came closer to the bed. Harry could see his perfect contours. It looked like his white shirt had been unbuttoned a little, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, hands in the pockets of his rather tight, black jeans. What Harry couldn't see was that Malfoy was tired. Really tired. He needed sleep so bad. His head was aching. He had stayed up all night and watched over Harry. Harry should not know, he should not be sorry.

"So. Hermione and I have been seeing each other a lot lately."

Harry looked over to her, but he couldn't see the expression on her face. Everything was so badly blurred. He wished for his glasses to appear magically. Haha. And that coming from a wizard.

"To bury the hatchet, you know. We're not teenagers anymore and that was just silly."

"That's...nice.", Harry whispered, closing his eyes again. Why wouldn't Hermione tell him such a thing? It was nothing to it, was it?

"Yeah...And we talked a lot. Basically about you."

"That's not nice.", Harry now said even more quietly, his eyes still closed. He felt tired again. His eyes were burning somehow. He just wanted to sleep. He wanted to rest. Silence and peace...

He heard Malfoy sigh.

"You may think we're having secrets. And we actually kinda do. But that was just because we were not really sure how you would react, what you would say."

The sounds around Harry drifted off into a dull, hollow setting of noises. Everything seemed so far away. He dived into a warm and comfortable darkness.

"...and all that I just said basically means that I wanted to get close to you. Make you love me or something like that. Be with you."

"What he is trying to say is that he is really into you, you know?", said Ron from the back of the room.

And then, there was silence. Nobody said a word. Hermione and Draco looked at each other, then at Harry. He was just lying there in silence, eyes closed. He breathed normally.

"Harry?"

No response.

"I think... he fell asleep.", said Hermione.

"He..did...what?", asked Malfoy.

Harry had been so tired, he couldn't keep his eyes open, he drifted away into a better place, where he happily lived with Malfoy in a nice house next to Hermione and Ron. He stood on the front porch, Malfoy came out of the house, approached him from behind, kissed him on the neck and told him that he loved him. That was exactly what he wished for. Best dream ever. This would never be real. Malfoy would never love him. Right? He would stay in this dream forever.

"He just overslept your declaration of love."

"I'm not gonna say all of that again."


	6. Love

"_Draco, what do you think you're doing?"_

"_I'm leaving."_

"_You can't just leave this behind. You have to embrace your destiny. You are one of us."_

"_Dad, I am NOT like you. I never wanted to be like you... besides that. He is dead. Your god-alike master has died. Don't you understand?"_

"_Draco..."_

"_No, I am leaving you behind. I don't need you anymore."_

_Draco woke up, sweat all over his face, his shirt stuck to his chest. He sighed and covered his eyes with his arms. He couldn't stop having these dreams. It was always the same. His father and himself in a dark room, he telling him he would not go on supporting black magic anymore. Or Voldemort's "army". He had had enough. He sat up straight and looked out of the window. The sun was shining through the blinds, it seemed like a really nice day. But there was no nice day for him. Blinded by the light, he rolled out of bed. There as no purpose for getting up. Everyone he knew was dead or didn't talk to him anymore. He looked over his shoulder to check if the bed was empty. Yep, no woman he had forgotten the name of._

_He turned around again and walked straight into his bathroom. The small flat he had rented in a rather decayed area of the city had become his home throughout the past months. He didn't even work. He just hung around all day, watched TV and thought about his life. His messed up life. He held on to that one thing in life he could not have but wanted so bad. Happiness. Being loved for who he was. What made him the man he had become. Whoever would come around had to accept his past. And forgive his mistakes. He sighed. That was not gonna happen, was it? And that Potter guy stuck in his head. There had always been this tension between them. The attraction between the good and the bad, the victim and the offender – the suspense of doing something forbidden. That nobody should know about. He sighed. Yep. Never gonna see him again. His phone rang._

"_Hello?"_

"_Hey, is this Draco Malfoy?"_

"_Yes."_

"_This is Hermione Granger speaking."_

And since that day...everything had changed. He was sitting in the chair opposite of Harry's hospital bed. He had a job now, he had gotten a haircut. Yeah, that was something new, too. He looked ok. Hah, who was he kidding? He was a handsome dude. He had a new, modern flat. He was ready for this. He wanted to give this a shot. And if it wouldn't work, he could still leave. Leave all of this behind...

He heard that Harry let out a small moan and moved around in the bed. Draco got up and approached him.

"Hey."

Harry reached out with his hands and Draco gave him his glasses.

"Oh, it's you."

"Never been so disappointed, huh?"

Harry grunted slightly and looked around. There was no one here but them. Again. He wanted to say something but he didn't really find the right words. Was he supposed to say thank you? Of ask what had happened in the stall? Of course he remembered what had happened. He just asked himself if there was something between them. After all these years in school. This had been going on so long, torturing him throughout all these years. Asking himself 'what if'...what if he had met him under normal circumstances. What if they had gotten along from the start? What if they had not been enemies throughout all these years. Well, at least they had been enemies in public. They had fought in the bedroom as well, but those fights were from a total different sort. Harry tried to pushed these thoughts away that would clearly give him a boner again. But he couldn't. He remembered everything perfectly.

_Dracos perfect, pale skin covered in little drops of sweat, his hair falling onto his face from both sides of his head, the muscles of his arms stretching with every move. His eyes were closed tightly with pockered eyebrows, his always perfect looking face deformed into a mixture of pain and pleasure, his red flushed lips pressing out moans he had no control of. While his hips moved back and forth, his fingers crumpled the bed sheets inside of his palms. The boy underneath him was screaming in pleasure. His fingernails scratched Malfoys back, leaving deep, red tracks all over it. Thank God it was the Christmas holidays and there was nobody to see or hear them. Draco Malfoy was fucking Harry Potter on a bed they had just found in some room. It was dark and it was dirty in there but that didn't matter. They could be together in here in a way they could not be together anywhere else. Dracos heavy, hot body fell down onto Harrys. They did never speak about these things. They rarely spoke at all. Though they exactly knew the character of each other. It was weird but it seemed normal to them._

Harry felt the bump between his legs growing and he tried to think of something else real quick to make it disappear. Draco did not seem to notice when he sat down on Harrys bed.

"I think it's time we talk about stuff."

"Uhum."

"And by stuff I mean this sexual tension between us."

Harry got nervous. He panicked. He didn't know what to do. He tried to sit up straight and pushed his back into the pillow.

"Yeah I guess that is what it is.", he finally managed to say.

"What?"

"A sexual thing...and nothing more."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah."

"Then has your face turned deeply red just because mine came closer?"

Harry had not even noticed that Draco had come closer. He had been so busy thinking about what do say...Oh no and there was this evil, handsome guy right in front of him, with this perfect smirk on his face. Harry hated himself for liking someone like Draco. He figured he was attracted to him because he could be everything Harry had never gotten to experience. He had never been the bad guy. He had never made mistakes on purpose. Draco had been free. In a way.

"I know you like me. Even if people can't understand why.", the blonde guy whispered as he leaned forward. He left an exciting prickle on Harrys lips as he backed up again. Harry could not hold back anymore. He grabbed Dracos face and pulled him back into a deep, passionate kiss.

Draco backed up again, held on to Harrys wrists with his own hands, his eyes closed and took a deep breath.

"Don't make me fuck you on this hospital bed...please."

"Oh!" Harry blushed again.

Hermione and Ron had watched them through the large window on the side of the hallway.

"You know what is sad?"

"What?", Ron asked.

"That this is only a small moment of happiness. They will have to face so many things that have happened. They will need to talk a lot."

"Do you think they can make it?"

"I don't know... I hope so, though. I have never liked this guy and I will probably never really trust him. But I want Harry to be happy. No matter what."

Ron nodded and took her hand.


	7. Dreams

_Harry had been fascinated by him the first time they met. How could somebody be that ignorant and mean? What makes somebody become such a person? He could have chosen to become Malfoy's friend, right? But things would not be the same now. Harry had just had his birthday. Things were not going well in Hogwarts and in his life. Those two things were always connected. Why couldn't he just be like anyone else? He sighed. Malfoy walked nervously from left to right in the hallway. Harry cracked a smile. He thought he wouldn't show up. And that was exactly what Harry wanted him to think. He was hiding behind a post and watched Malfoy freak out a little. It gave him a certain satisfaction that the only thing that could disconcert Malfoy was...him. Or at least it seemed like it. Malfoy stopped in the middle of the hallway._

"_Do you think this is funny?"_

_He looked into Harry's direction. Oh, so he had seen him. Damn._

"_Come here already, Potter, I don't have the whole day to deal with this."_

"_To deal with this? Wow, you're being romantic today.", Harry said as he walked into Malfoy's direction. The moonlight was shining through the window and cast weird shaped shadows onto his beautiful, pale face._

"_Shut up.", Draco said, grabbed Harrys face and pulled him closer. His eyes were nervously moving behind his closed lids as if he was trying to hold back. He was fighting against this. This wasn't right, not in any way. This was not supposed to be. He opened his eyes. He would lose this fight again and again...he could feel it. _

"_Could you, just go ahead already?", Harry whispered intensely, blushed face, eyes half-closed, little clouds of his breath were dancing in the cold air between their faces. It left a nice shiver on Malfoy's skin. He couldn't bare the tension anymore. He leaned in for a rather small kiss, backed up again and looked into Harry's eyes._

"_You know...I..."_

"_Why are you allowed to talk when I'm told to shut up?", Harry said, took Malfoy's hands from his own face, pushed himself against the blonde's body and kissed him passionately. The softness of Malfoy's lips made him almost lose his sanity. He felt like a switch inside his head had been turned over and he forgot where he was. Who he was and what had happened throughout the years. He buried his hands in Malfoy's hair, pulled his head back and seductively licked the blonde's lips slowly. Draco gasped under Harry's touch. He tried to keep himself together but that was easier said than done. As they stumbled their way into one of the dirty rooms nobody seemed to be using anymore, he realized he had never really spoken to Harry before. Draco pushed him to the ground, threw his gown into any direction of the room, he didn't care. _

"_Just remember, this is not right."_

"_Shut up, come here, help me take these things off."_

_Draco was a master when it came to the act of undressing. No matter what he did it made him look sexy. The semidarkness that covered his body made him even more desirable, not revealing too much yet. Harry bit his lip as he looked at him. This was too much to bare. He closed his eyes and reached out with both of his hands. He felt Draco's warm body touching them every now and then as he moved closer to him. The warmth of their bodies against each other was driving Harry crazy. And it felt like he was not the only one with these thoughts._

"_Ok, no, I can't do this."_

"_What? Come on, it's not the first time for us anyway!"_

_Malfoy pushed himself away from Harry and lied down besides him. Harry stared at the ceiling. Was there something he had done wrong? But what exactly should that be?_

"_I wish there was a way to tell you. But I can't."_

"_Stop feeling guilty and stop making me feel bad. Why don't you just get back on top of me and we do what we always do?"_

"_Fine. But I promise, this will be the last time. There is a storm coming that you can't see, Potter."_

Am I dreaming?

"_Three months ago you said it would be the last time – so what exactly do you want?"_

"_I...I don't know..."_

"_What kind of person do you take me for? You kinda 'break up' with me and now that you come crawling back to -"_

"_I am NOT crawling back to you, Potter. I have certain pride, you know."_

"_Me too. Get lost, Malfoy."_

"_Oh come on, you need me."_

"_Leave. Me. Alone."_

_Malfoy's fists to the right and left of Harrys head , leaving a slight vibration to the wall didn't really make the Griffindor comfortable. He looked nervously from Draco's hands back to his face. It was pure anger. He had puckered his eyebrows deeply, his bright eyes looked even colder than they usually did and the flush of anger spreading over his face actually made things even worse. _

"_I always get what I want, Potter."_

_Harry swallowed hard and pressed his back against the wall. He had been scared of Malfoy so may times before. But this was different. Something inside Malfoy had changed. He took all of this quite serious and personal._

"_Okay.", was all Harry could say. Actually, he was whispering. Draco took a deep breath, closed his eyes and his face started to become pale again. When he opened his eyes, they showed the same emptiness as they always did. His hands slid down the wall and finally landed next to his legs, where they were supposed to be. _

"_Don't even think about making me angry again, Potter. You'd regret that."_

_Harry didn't say anything back. There was nothing he could do anyway. He tried to be strong and tough and he tried not to care. But he was Harry Potter, personified empathy. A leopard cannot change its spots. He stumbled down the hallway behind Draco, a lifeless expression on his face. He would maybe regret making Malfoy angry but what he was going to regret even more was giving the Slytherin what he wanted. It made Harry weak and his thoughts were overfull with things Malfoy said or did. Harry was afraid he could become insane._

"_There."_

_Malfoy opened the door and they got in quietly. Harry didn't struggle when Draco took his clothes off, left his marks all over his shivering body and took whatever he wanted from him._

_Harry was not happy at all._

Could someone please wake me up?

_Harry looked around. This place had been his home, his life, his shelter throughout all these years. It hurt him to see it like this. Broken, burned, torn to pieces. Exactly the way he felt inside._

" _I told you a storm was coming.", a familiar, cold voice said behind him. He didn't have to turn around to know who was approaching him._

"_I didn't think it would be...this!", he said and kicked a stone. The footsteps he had heard were gone. Someone was standing right behind him. He could feel hot breath against his neck. Even though he didn't want it, it gave him goose bumps. Harry didn't move an inch, afraid of what would happen next._

"_You know that I am supposed to kill you, right?", Malfoy whispered into Harry's ear. The Gryffindor closed his eyes for a second and took a deep breath._

"_Why don't you just do it then? I have nothing to live for anymore anyway."_

"_Run."_

"_What?"_

"_I said run. Run away and don't look back. You are not allowed to look at me."_

_Harry clenched his fists. He didn't know what to expect from this. He would probably get killed anyway, right? He felt his feet moving and before he even knew he was running. He was running for his life, his lungs felt like they would burst anytime now. His breath was going fast, he felt the wind against his body and hair while he could hardly see through the broken glasses in front of his eyes. He heard screaming and shouting from the distance. Harry couldn't understand the words but he knew Malfoy was involved in this. He then saw Hermione running towards him. He gasped. And then his foot hit the edge of the stairs he was running down and made him slip. Harry fell towards his friend, felt a painful hit against his head and then the world turned into an even darker place than it already was while the last thing he saw was blood dripping from his mouth onto the stairs._

Please. This hurts so bad. Make me wake up. Someone must hear me screaming! Someone must be here! Anyone? Hello?

"_Where the hell were you?"_

"_What do you want, Pansy! Don't get on my nerves."_

_As Harry heard the voices, he quickly hid behind the corner he was about to walk by. Those clearly were the voices of Malfoy and Parkinson. They were fighting in the middle of the hallway. None of the three was actually supposed to be here. And especially not Pansy. What was she doing her?_

"_You have been sneaking out the bedroom for weeks now. I want to know why!?"_

_Malfoy sighed and took a deep breath._

"_You know that's non of your business, right?"_

"_Wait, what? I am your fucking girlfriend, of course I am supposed to know."_

_When Harry heard the word 'girlfriend', his heart was aching a little. But he tried to focus on the conversation and forget about his own feelings right now. They weren't right anyways, were they?_

"_There's someone else, right? Who is she?"_

"_You wouldn't believe that anyways."_

"_So there IS someone! You're such a scum, running around, cheating on me!", her voice had become a little pitched, screaming hysterically._

"_Come on, don't act like this hasn't happened before."_

"_Fine. But this time, it seems different to me. You never made a secret of your other girls. Only this time. Why don't you just break up with me then?"_

"_I thought cheating on you would have made you get the message."_

_The scene fell silence for a second and then Harry heard a slapping sound. Malfoy must've gotten a slap in the face. The next thing Harry heard were angry footsteps walking away from him. He took a little time before he walked towards Malfoy. He was leaning against the wall, stroking his own cheek._

"_You're late.", was all he said. He pushed himself away from the wall._

"_You know I heard that, right?"_

"_So what?"_

"_Do you really think I will go on hanging out with you like that after all I've heard now?"_

"_What do you think this conversation was about?"_

"_You, being an unmoral cheater."_

_Draco cracked a narrow smile._

"_This was over long ago. Not my fault that she didn't get it."_

_Harry turned around to walk away but Malfoy held him back when he grabbed his arm. Harry stood there for a second before he turned around again._

"_You didn't get it either, did you?", the blonde guy said._

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Didn't you hear what she said?"_

"_What?"_

"_That this is different from all the times before."_

_Harry knew this was the point of time where he would give in. He wanted to be something more, he wanted to be special. He didn't know not being special, right? Not being different from everyone else. Soft and warm lips against his own, making him losing his mind. He felt his knees buckle under so he held on to Malfoy's coat. The other guy held Harry up, kissing him deeply and passionately._

Harry's eyes flew open. His whole body was sweaty and shaking, his breath was going fast. He sighed deeply and reached for the glass of water standing next to the bed. He sat up before he drank. The moonlight was shining through the window which calmed him down a little. Why were these dreams coming back now? Everything was good now, right? He looked at the blonde guy sleeping next to him. Everything was good.

Right?


End file.
